Faith

Am I Good Enough?

February 22, 2012

© Jane – Fotolia.com

I began reading this book today.  Can I just tell you that God is doing another deep work in my heart.  I am not sure I was prepared for it.  I mean, when I signed up to review the book (which will come later), I knew it was going to move me, but I didn’t realize the layers of skin that would be peeled off, revealing a raw, aching heart, longing to belong.  Longing to be enough.  Longing to make Him and others proud.

Just tonight as I was winding down catching up on my favorite blogs, I came across Kimberly’s post, about not finding our worth in how others see us.  And Nikki’s post about fearing that we aren’t enough.  And I knew that I had to sit down and process the thoughts swirling around in my own head.  I had to face this fear of not measuring up, of not being enough, head on.

Confession time…..

Most days, I do not feel good enough.

I don’t feel like a good mom.
I don’t feel like a good wife.
I don’t feel like a good friend.
I don’t feel like a good writer.

One common thread I notice here is that I don’t feel……

I am basing my self worth, my value, on my feelings.  Am I good enough?  This is not a question that can or should be answered based on how I am feeling in the moment.  I have hard days.  I have days where I fall short.  I have days where I yell at my kids, or discourage my husband.  And then the feelings come.  Those scheming lies full of nothing but guilt and shame.  They lie and tell me that I am less than, that I will never be good enough.  Some days, I wish I didn’t feel anything.  I seem to constantly be in a battle between emotions based on feelings and believing the truth of who God says that I am.  God gave me my emotions.  But He is to be Lord over my mind, will AND emotionsWill I trust my emotions to tell me of my worth, or will I believe that IN Christ, I AM good enough? 

I was created in His image, full of promise and purpose.  But when I consistently tell myself that I am not good enough, I am telling God that what He created is less than perfect.  So then the ole cliche phrase, “be patient, God isn’t finished with me yet” takes on a whole new meaning.  For me, it’s not about growing up in spiritual maturity, but it’s about, “oh, thank goodness He’s got more work to do in me so that I will be better, do better, and feel better about myself”.

The truth is, I will never be good enough.  In and of myself, I can do nothing.

My love for my husband and children is not good enough.  But His love in me is enough.
My words of encouragement to others are not good enough.  But His words in me are enough.
My light in a dark world is not good enough.  But His light in me is enough.

I am a weak vessel.  But I can draw strength from the source.  The One who draws near to me, when I draw near to Him.  He has called me to abide.  To remain in Him, so that He will remain in me.  And so I come, in my weakness, in my filthy rags.  I come with dirty hands that have become scarred and worn from trying and working so hard to fit myself into a mold.  But this being good enough, it’s not about working.  It’s not about doing.  It’s about being.  It’s about realizing that only IN HIM will I ever be good enough.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.  (John 15:5)

I am good enough because He choose me before the foundations of the world.
I am good enough because He called me His own.
I am good enough because He is strength when I am weak.
I am good enough because He is light in my darkness.
I am good enough because He equips those He calls.
I am only good enough because I said Yes to His will and to His ways.

Am I good enough?

I am striving to believe this truth.  How about you?

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31 Comments

  • Reply Charina February 22, 2012 at 3:00 am

    Joining you in believing that I am because I said to His will and His ways and He is my strength when I am weak… beautiful Barbie!

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 10:00 pm

      Thank you my friend.

  • Reply Christan February 22, 2012 at 5:39 am

    Thankful I don’t have to be good enough because of His crazy Love Story that keeps pursuing me.  Whew.  I’m in the journey with you, Barbie.

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 10:00 pm

      Ah, it is a pretty crazy love story, huh? So thankful we get a part in it!

  • Reply Nikki February 22, 2012 at 7:11 am

    Oh, Barbie. Your writing is more than enough for me! You know I needed this, friend.
    (Isn’t it funny how we can look at another and wonder how they would ever fear they aren’t enough? )
    Will be drawing strength from the source this stay. I’m striving with you!

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 10:00 pm

      Thank you my sweet friend!

  • Reply Anonymous February 22, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Barbie,I have struggled with this as long as I can remember, longer than  should have really. I too have that book, it sits on my night stand, I am also set to review it soon. I havenot started reading it yet, I think I know how it will make me feel… I am sort of trying to prepare myself to hear the words that so often I push away. Thank you for sharing your heart here. I look forward to your review, and to reading this book! I have no doubt it will be awesome. 

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:59 pm

      I don’t think I was fully prepared for it. It really has hit me hard. Realizing that I even thought this about myself has truly hurt my own heart. But God is so good to gently bring me along in this journey.

  • Reply Katie @simply[his] February 22, 2012 at 10:10 am

    I am blown away by how many of us are writing about being good enough!  I guess God needs us to hear His voice on this subject!  Love your words today, friend!

  • Reply Glenda Childers February 22, 2012 at 10:55 am

    It sounds like you are learning a lot  … what a great truth. You are enough. God is enough.

    Fondly,
    Glenda

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      Thank you Glenda!

  • Reply laura February 22, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    Oh Barbie..there is really something to this!   “I feel” the same way most of the time too, but feelings can mislead.  You have a good topic and platform here to really minister and move us with your honesty and candidness.  I want to know more…about the book, about God’s love and about the journey.
    Love ,Laura

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:57 pm

      Oh my friend, I am so thankful I am in this journey with you. I’ve missed you. I’ve been a little “under the weather”. I will call you soon!

  • Reply Anonymous February 22, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    You are doing a great work by taking time to process out your feelings in light of the truth of how God sees you..Cheering you on, Barbie…I realize more and more that I am not enough and that is okay because God says His grace is sufficient and that I was not meant to be enough apart from Him…but it a process, and some days it can be hard to believe what is true and not let my feelings run amuk, so I hear you… hugs to you!

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:56 pm

      Thank you so much for your encouragement my friend.

  • Reply Stephanie Hanes February 23, 2012 at 4:44 am

    Oh my, this book is speaking so much to my heart too.  I wish I’d had it sooner…because so much of my depression and anxiety was about not feeling like I was “enough”.  And I’m slowly learning, but I have a long ways to go yet…to believe everything He says about me.  My husband told me once, in the middle of one of my weakest moments, “Do you believe, really believe that He loves you?”  When I quietly said, “yes”, he continued, “He doesn’t make mistakes, Steph…you are fearfully and wonderfully made and He loves you no matter what.”  “But I’m such a mess…”, I whispered.  “And He loves your mess…”, he reminded me.  

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:55 pm

      Ah, this brought tears to my eyes. When I am asked if I truly believe that He loves me, I say yes, but there is no connection in my heart. I have a ways to go in truly believing and understanding this truth. So thankful that He loves our messy lives.

  • Reply Aggie February 23, 2012 at 4:55 am

    I just clicked over here from seeing your comment on At Home With Kim, so glad I did! I’ve been having these feelings all week (and longer!), feeling like a bad mom or friend. What an uplifting post to read this morning, thank you!

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:54 pm

      Aggie, thank you for stopping by for a visit. I am so thankful my post spoke to your heart. We are in this journey together.

  • Reply Kim | At Home With Kim February 23, 2012 at 7:47 am

    What a wonderful post!  And so true.  I heard Beth Moore once teach on something similar.  I find that I can sometimes fall into the trap of believing that and then giving up.  Day starts off bad and I give in instead of looking Up!  Great great great reminder.  Sounds like an amazing book!  Thanks for the encouragement today Barbie.

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:53 pm

      That’s so true. We have to always remember to look up! Thanks for your visit today!

  • Reply Mandy February 23, 2012 at 12:18 pm

    Beautiful post, Barbie! I am reading Holley’s book as well and am finding such life in it~ God is speaking these same messages to my heart these days! Also wanted to say that I loved seeing your post and name on the (in)courage blog last week~ such a great post and I was so excited for you to be there, sweet friend! Blessings to you~ you are more than enough!!

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:52 pm

      It was such an honor to post at (in)Courage. I just love that community! Thank you for your encouragement.

  • Reply Positively Alene February 23, 2012 at 6:45 pm

    WOW – my heart and soul needed these words of affirmation. My thoughts are most days just like your thoughts. They kill and stifle me, yet it is hard to let them go. Putting up words today to remind myself I am enough through Christ! Enough.

    • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:52 pm

      Yes! You are enough!

  • Reply Barbie February 23, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    And I am so thankful I have so many to walk this journey alongside. Thank you my friend.

  • Reply Kerri Smith February 24, 2012 at 7:56 am

    Right along side of you striving to believe this truth as well!
    Thank you Barbie for always being so authentic!

    • Reply Barbie February 24, 2012 at 8:07 am

      Thanks my friend!

  • Reply Jennifer Camp February 27, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    I am with you, too, on this journey, sweet friend! Thank you for this beautiful post.

    • Reply Barbie February 28, 2012 at 10:01 pm

      Thanks Jennifer!

  • Reply Crystal Green March 2, 2015 at 2:55 pm

    I love this! You’re so right without God who lives within us we are not much. This is such a well written inspirational post. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
    Crystal Green recently posted..What is more important? The Student or Their score?

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