Today I signed up for the Fall Weigh-In Wednesdays hosted by Kim of At Home With Kim. When Kim shared her vision, I was stirred, but a little cautious. I do not want to fail again. I want to make healthy choices so that I will feel better and ultimately be able to lose the weight that I so desperately want to lose. I told myself that I would “watch from the sidelines”. I was perfectly satisfied with being a cheerleader for those who did sign up. I am good at encouraging others along in their joinery. But God said that it was time — time for me to be honest with myself, and with others, about my struggle. I am still a little tentative, but I will not allow the ghosts from my past failures to keep me from moving forward.
I wasn’t going to do a weekly post here on the blog. After all, my blog schedule is pretty busy and I wasn’t sure I could fit it in. But again, I was reminded of the importance of community and accountability. I know that ultimately it is the Lord who will help me to change. When I am weak, it is His strength that will keep me moving forward. But I need you. I need you to see my goals each week and to help keep me accountable.
So here I am.
*This picture was taken in October of this year.
*This photo was taken in June, at my daughter’s wedding.
I’ve struggled for years to lose weight. I have made far too many excuses: “I don’t have the time.” ”I don’t have the money to eat healthy.” ”I don’t feel like it.” ”Things will never change.” “I’ve failed too many times in the past.” I’ve read books like Made to Crave, looking for a “quick fix” to my emotional eating issues. I had some good losses in the past, but I could never keep the weight off.
I am heavier now than I have ever been. I weighed less while pregnant with each of my children. By all accounts, I am in the “obese” category. I don’t feel good, rarely have the energy to exercise, and am on the verge of adult on-set Diabetes. I am an emotional eater and have allowed food to fill voids that only God was meant to fill. I have issues with body image. I don’t feel beautiful. I don’t like what I see in the mirror most days. I know that God wants to bring healing to the emotional wounds I’ve carried for so many years. I also know that this healing will not come over night. It took years for me to put on this weight. It will not come off without a lot of hard work and sacrifice.
I want to move forward. I want to allow God back into this part of my life, to give Him the opportunity to finish the good work that He has already begun in me. I have a long way to go. I need to lose between 50-60lbs. It seems overwhelming. But I know that with God, all things are possible.
Each week for WIW, I will list my goals. Ultimately, by the end of the Fall session on October 31st, I would love to have lost 10lbs. I feel it’s a small enough goal to be attainable. Every week when I post I will list my weight loss for the week.
So, what are my goals for this week?
- Drink more water. Honestly, I must be pretty dehydrated, as I can go an entire day and only drink 1-2 glasses of water. I know how important water is to health and so I am hoping to change my habits.
- Drink only fat free/sugar free coffee products. I am not ready to give up my coffee just yet, so I will make adjustments to accommodate.
- Begin logging my food with Weight Watchers online. I actually signed up with Weight Watchers again (for about the 5th time) five weeks ago. I managed to semi-log my food the first week. I’ve never visited the website again until today.
- Stay within my WW points range. This may take some time for me to get use to. I am going to allow myself lots of grace until I find my rhythm.
The biggest challenge for me will be preparing lunches and healthy snacks ahead of time to take to work. I am going to spend some time browsing recipe boards and the WW site to get some healthy ideas.
Thank you for allowing me to share a part of my personal journey to health with you. I know some of you have been down this road with me before. I welcome your encouragement and tips along the way!
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I am rooting for you Barbie. Losing & maintaining weight loss takes so much discipline, I know once you get into groove of logging in points, and have a few standby meals to fall back on you’ll start seeing results. I find that the days I’m “prepared” are the days I feel more successful, so a little extra effort in meal prep goes a long way for me. Good luck, and I look forward to getting to know you better & follow your journey over at #AtHomeWIW!! We are all in this together
Thank you Aggie! Looking forward to getting to know you and encouraging you along this journey.
I will be praying for you, Barbie!! I lost 25 pounds 25 years ago…it is a struggle every day to keep it off, but I am mostly successful Praise the Lord!! I also spent 16 years working for WW before moving out east. I am more than willing to be a resource for you if I can help. My prayer today is that you have the strength just to make good choices TODAY…deal with tomorrow when it comes. I’ll also be praying for strength to work your way through the emotional side of eating.
AND…water is key.
Hugs my friend…
Mary
Thank you so much Mary. Great to know I have another resource who knows and understands this journey.
I will be here cheering you on and praying you through this journey, my friend. I love what you’re doing. You have great goals and you CAN do this. My husband is also an emotional eater. I only splurge on chocolate when I’m stressed. Lol!
Anyway, I think you’re taking the right and healthy approach to weight loss. I could lose about ten pounds, but know that until I’m back to a regular running routine, that’s just not going to happen. Looking forward to school starting back up so I can get my act together again.
Barbie, I will definitely be praying for you. And I am even joining you on this journey just because I like you so much!
I have to agree with Aggie, once you get in the groove of things, it becomes a bit easier, but the key is to be prepared. Here is looking for a successful season for both of us!
Angie @ Blooming Spirit
Thank you so much Angie!
Good for you, Barbie!! I’m working on weight loss/feeling better/exercise, too!!
Best of luck to you Photographing Mom!
Thank you so much Rosann for all of your support and encouragement!
There’s a reason people call it “Comfort Food”. Barbie, you are not alone in this! And yet, you are the one needing to make the choices alone. It’s so hard…on every level. And yet, I can see you meeting your goal and looking back to see how far you’ve come while feeling God say “That’s my girl!”
I’ve done weight watchers before and do feel it’s a great program! Proud of you!!
Father, help Barbie see what You see when You look at Your beloved. Holy Spirit, motivate her, encourage her, whisper love into her ear relentlessly as she strives to change years of habits, familiarities, comforts… Show her the way. one step at a time…
Thank you Nikki for your support and encouragement.
I know you can do this!! I’m praying for you friend!
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Thank you so much friend!
As you well know, I totally understand. I ate grapes off of our vine the entire time I cut grass this morning and then I came in and ate peanuts. Mercy. Sigh. I pray you will have great breakthrough Barbie. I know how it feels. <3
Ha ha, today I reached for a co-workers M&Ms. It was habit. I think it will take a while to break these little habits.
Well, you are so wise to set an attainable goal and not some “pie in the sky by and by” goal. Barbie, I will be praying for you as this is a struggle that I have never had but can only imagine how difficult it must be.
And, never, never think you are not beautiful. Remember man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at our hearts and I can assure you that what He sees is beautiful. And, you have always been so inspiring to me as I’ve gotten to know you through your blog.
Blessings abundant to you as you begin this journey. I’m here to cheer you on my friend. You CAN do this!
Hi Barbie, It’s been awhile since you visited me-so thank you! Great job on the weight loss so far, and for wanting to get healthy. I’ve struggled over the years too and have done WW many times, but now without having gluten that made it so much easier. As you continue on, you will encourage others.
I have missed you Noreen. I am sorry for not visiting sooner. Now that my reeder is cleaned out, hopefully I will visit more often. Thanks for your encouragement!
Thank you Lea. This spoke volumes to my heart!
Hi Barbie– your story can be my story!!! I did the Made to Crave Bible Study with my church last year. I re-read through it this Summer with Kim’s Summer Book Club. WW online seems like a wonderful resource. With God’s power and strength, we’ll make it to healthy!!! Looking forward to getting to know you. I have pre-diabetes too. According to the doctors that I work with, it’s like “you’re either pregnant or not”. You can’t be pre-pregnant. Perfect time for us to take care of ourselves so we can properly take care of our families.
Thank you Robin. I appreciate your encouragement and will look forward to getting to know you better through WIWs.
Barbie, I’m so glad you signed up. I will be encouraging you friend. You can do it with God’s help and with the support of others. I actually signed up too. I have 20 pounds to lose. I always weighed a certain weight most of my adult life. When the stress of all that happened to me hit, I stopped exercising. That was the biggest change. And then I got depressed and gave in to those cravings. So my goal is to lose 10 pounds by October 31st. Let’s encourage one another Barbie.
Debbie, I am truly grateful you joined! I have ignored my weight issues for way too long. Ideally, I have 50-60lbs to lose. Seems like it will take forever. I totally understand the depression thing. I am sort of there right now, but I know my God is greater. This last week did not go as well as I had hoped, but I will not give up!
Barbie, You are on my heart. I can just not tell you how anxious I am to celebrate with you as you hit each of your goals!!! DO NOT LET GO!!! Want this for yourself MORE than you want the food. I promise that though it is hard at first…. It feels SO good when you see success. THEN… you literally lose the cravings and start to crave what’s good for you. Telling yourself NO is one of the hardest things to do, but the reward is sweeter than any m&ms. KEEP GOING!!!! You’ve got this!!!!
I can tottaly relate to so much of what you are saying.. I have a good 50 to lose….. keep it up!!! let’s do this together!!!
Thanks for stopping by to encourage Marnie!