Today I signed up for the Fall Weigh-In Wednesdays hosted by Kim of At Home With Kim. When Kim shared her vision, I was stirred, but a little cautious. I do not want to fail again. I want to make healthy choices so that I will feel better and ultimately be able to lose the weight that I so desperately want to lose. I told myself that I would “watch from the sidelines”. I was perfectly satisfied with being a cheerleader for those who did sign up. I am good at encouraging others along in their joinery. But God said that it was time — time for me to be honest with myself, and with others, about my struggle. I am still a little tentative, but I will not allow the ghosts from my past failures to keep me from moving forward.
I wasn’t going to do a weekly post here on the blog. After all, my blog schedule is pretty busy and I wasn’t sure I could fit it in. But again, I was reminded of the importance of community and accountability. I know that ultimately it is the Lord who will help me to change. When I am weak, it is His strength that will keep me moving forward. But I need you. I need you to see my goals each week and to help keep me accountable.
So here I am.
*This picture was taken in October of this year.
*This photo was taken in June, at my daughter’s wedding.
I’ve struggled for years to lose weight. I have made far too many excuses: “I don’t have the time.” ”I don’t have the money to eat healthy.” ”I don’t feel like it.” ”Things will never change.” “I’ve failed too many times in the past.” I’ve read books like Made to Crave, looking for a “quick fix” to my emotional eating issues. I had some good losses in the past, but I could never keep the weight off.
I am heavier now than I have ever been. I weighed less while pregnant with each of my children. By all accounts, I am in the “obese” category. I don’t feel good, rarely have the energy to exercise, and am on the verge of adult on-set Diabetes. I am an emotional eater and have allowed food to fill voids that only God was meant to fill. I have issues with body image. I don’t feel beautiful. I don’t like what I see in the mirror most days. I know that God wants to bring healing to the emotional wounds I’ve carried for so many years. I also know that this healing will not come over night. It took years for me to put on this weight. It will not come off without a lot of hard work and sacrifice.
I want to move forward. I want to allow God back into this part of my life, to give Him the opportunity to finish the good work that He has already begun in me. I have a long way to go. I need to lose between 50-60lbs. It seems overwhelming. But I know that with God, all things are possible.
Each week for WIW, I will list my goals. Ultimately, by the end of the Fall session on October 31st, I would love to have lost 10lbs. I feel it’s a small enough goal to be attainable. Every week when I post I will list my weight loss for the week.
So, what are my goals for this week?
- Drink more water. Honestly, I must be pretty dehydrated, as I can go an entire day and only drink 1-2 glasses of water. I know how important water is to health and so I am hoping to change my habits.
- Drink only fat free/sugar free coffee products. I am not ready to give up my coffee just yet, so I will make adjustments to accommodate.
- Begin logging my food with Weight Watchers online. I actually signed up with Weight Watchers again (for about the 5th time) five weeks ago. I managed to semi-log my food the first week. I’ve never visited the website again until today.
- Stay within my WW points range. This may take some time for me to get use to. I am going to allow myself lots of grace until I find my rhythm.
The biggest challenge for me will be preparing lunches and healthy snacks ahead of time to take to work. I am going to spend some time browsing recipe boards and the WW site to get some healthy ideas.
Thank you for allowing me to share a part of my personal journey to health with you. I know some of you have been down this road with me before. I welcome your encouragement and tips along the way!