Hello ladies! I am praying for each of you on this journey. I want to thank you all for the wonderful encouragement you left for me last week. I felt a little guilty that my post was such a downer, but this is simply where I am right now with all of this. I cannot say that I’ve done anything different this week. I have not weighed myself for two weeks. I will hopefully weigh in next week and report any results, good or bad.
This week I am struggling with comparison. I know this is wrong, to compare myself to others, but I am just being honest. I ran into an acquaintance at church this week who has lost a considerable amount of weight over the last few months. I asked her how she was doing it and she told me she was doing one of the same “quick fix” diets I had tried last year. But she also told me that something has “clicked” for her. She has been able to retrain her brain to think and respond differently about food. I am not at that place yet. I so desperately want to be. But it’s been so hard. And this week with starting school, I really haven’t had much time to focus on me. I have been focusing my energies on other people, what they are doing and how they are being successful. Comparison is an ugly thing. It makes you feel insignificant and like you can never accomplish anything on your own. Comparison is stealing my joy.
I did have a good chat with a friend today. I realize that I, for the most part, have put my body in starvation mode. I do this by only eating one large meal a day. I rarely eat breakfast, although manage to consume coffee, and dinner is hit or miss. In order for my metabolism to work like it was intended to, I need to be eating at least 6 times a day. But how do I do that when I am not hungry? Another thing this friend pointed out is that on my limited budget, I cannot worry about planning healthy meals for me, and meat and potatoes for my family. When I am home and do cook, I must focus on me and make my family come along on this journey with me. There are some fabulous, healthy meals out there. My family probably wouldn’t know the difference. But I have been so busy trying to take care of everyone else that again, I’ve pushed myself aside.
I don’t have anything to share about rewards that I would give myself for sticking with my goals. As far as inspiration, I want to be healthy for my family. People have said that I need to do this for me. And I know that is true. But I also want to be here for my children and my grandchildren. They are my motivation. I want to be healthy so that I can live out the rest of my life as God intended me to.
Until next week. And I promise to try to record every bite this week!