Hello ladies! I am praying for each of you on this journey. I want to thank you all for the wonderful encouragement you left for me last week. I felt a little guilty that my post was such a downer, but this is simply where I am right now with all of this. I cannot say that I’ve done anything different this week. I have not weighed myself for two weeks. I will hopefully weigh in next week and report any results, good or bad.
This week I am struggling with comparison. I know this is wrong, to compare myself to others, but I am just being honest. I ran into an acquaintance at church this week who has lost a considerable amount of weight over the last few months. I asked her how she was doing it and she told me she was doing one of the same “quick fix” diets I had tried last year. But she also told me that something has “clicked” for her. She has been able to retrain her brain to think and respond differently about food. I am not at that place yet. I so desperately want to be. But it’s been so hard. And this week with starting school, I really haven’t had much time to focus on me. I have been focusing my energies on other people, what they are doing and how they are being successful. Comparison is an ugly thing. It makes you feel insignificant and like you can never accomplish anything on your own. Comparison is stealing my joy.
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I did have a good chat with a friend today. I realize that I, for the most part, have put my body in starvation mode. I do this by only eating one large meal a day. I rarely eat breakfast, although manage to consume coffee, and dinner is hit or miss. In order for my metabolism to work like it was intended to, I need to be eating at least 6 times a day. But how do I do that when I am not hungry? Another thing this friend pointed out is that on my limited budget, I cannot worry about planning healthy meals for me, and meat and potatoes for my family. When I am home and do cook, I must focus on me and make my family come along on this journey with me. There are some fabulous, healthy meals out there. My family probably wouldn’t know the difference. But I have been so busy trying to take care of everyone else that again, I’ve pushed myself aside.
I don’t have anything to share about rewards that I would give myself for sticking with my goals. As far as inspiration, I want to be healthy for my family. People have said that I need to do this for me. And I know that is true. But I also want to be here for my children and my grandchildren. They are my motivation. I want to be healthy so that I can live out the rest of my life as God intended me to.
Until next week. And I promise to try to record every bite this week!
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I just love your honesty Barbie! I wonder if it would help if you did not call it dieting but lifestyle change. Sometimes the word diet just sends such bad signals to us.
And, you definitely need to eat more than once a day and then it’s all about portion control. I eat what I want but it may just be 1/3 piece of pie and 1 small scoop of ice cream. If you deprive yourself it is just that much harder. I’m thinking of you and wishing you all the best in this endeavor. You CAN do it!
Thank you Lea! I appreciate you!
I wasn’t able to do it for me either, Barbie. Until I had lost the majority of what I needed to lose that is. Then I could do the rest for me. . .
You have a very wise friend and am so grateful they were willing to talk about the hard stuff with you openly and honestly! What a blessing…
Hugs to you, girl! Love you!
Thanks Nikki! It’s been a long, hard journey. I just want to get out of the starting gate. Praying you have a blessed week!
Barbie I wanted to encourage you to look into intuitive eating, there are no food rules, you listen to your body with God’s help. He will do a transformation in you <3
Kim
http://www.myheartandyours.org
Thank you Kim for stopping by!
Barbie, I’m so sorry this continues to be a struggle for you! I’ve been offline since I haven’t been feeling well…. so I’m sorry for the delayed response. But today is a new day and I look forward to hitting the reset button for myself and I hope you’ll join me. I find that it’s 100% mental…. I have to decide what my heart truly desires. For the last 3 weeks my heart’s desire has been to comfort myself with food. Sure, I don’t want to gain weight and feel crummy. But – my desire was more for the food than taking care of myself. I have to decide that I want to be healthy more than I want the temporary satisfaction of the bag of peanut butter m&ms and ice cream I’ve eaten every night. Or the 6 slices of pizza. Or the…. you get the point. And when I truly decide that I have to tell myself NO! Just as I correct my children for poor choices, I have to be strong and tell myself NO and make a better choice. I hope you’ll join me!!! You’ve got this my Friend!!!! Desire it above any momentary satisfaction.