I’ve been pondering my journey toward health and wholeness. I’m still asking God what it is I should be doing to get healthy. But for now, I am not feeling released to do much of anything. Some of my friends have started Weight Watchers. I want to jump in with both feet and begin counting again and experiment with new recipes, but I’m not ready. I’m not yet ready to fail with grace. I’m not yet ready to start, only to get frustrated and stop again. I’m not yet ready to grab God’s hand and let Him lead me down that path. For I know if I did it now, I’d be the one leading, and I’d fail miserably.
For so long the road to getting healthy has meant that I had to be “doing something” while at the same time not doing most things I enjoyed, like eating chocolate and filling up on carbs. But I believe that the Lord would have me to rest from the doing, and focus more on the being. It’s not easy, because in order to be, I have to lay things down and put myself first. I have to place my relationship with God at the highest priority, and I have to give myself permission to focus on me.
I have trouble putting myself first. Growing up, I wasn’t first at much of anything. Whenever I played with my brothers and sisters, I was often chosen last, or given the less glorified role. So for the most part, I am use to putting my time and attention into others. But I am learning that I can lose myself in this process of serving others. It’s easy to forget who I am, that I have needs, and that those needs are valid and important. I can get so consumed with the needs of the people around me, that I lack the energy and motivation to strengthen myself.
I don’t know how to do it. How does a busy, full-time working, homeschooling mom, who does ministry 2-3 nights a week, care for her husband and her children, as well as the needs of others, without neglecting herself?
In order to be successful in life, I must have some quality “me time”. It’s not self-centered to take a time out, just for myself, to rest and refuel and do something just for me. I need to learn the art of being kind to myself.
Here are some things that I’m dreaming about doing just for myself:
- Take a long walk with God, and see where I end up.
- Have some focused writing time, by myself, no children around.
- Paint my nails (I can’t tell you how long it’s been).
- Take a hot bath (it’s been even longer!)
- Get a massage. I have a certificate. I just keep forgetting to call.
- Dance in the rain. The next time it rains, I just might do it.
- Bake. I don’t like baking, but there’s something comforting about the end result.
- Cry. I do this often. There’s so much healing in it.
- Start putting together my ebooks. Scared. Nervous. Excited. Mostly scared.
- Handwrite a note to someone I love. Seems easy enough, but typing is so much faster.
These are just a few things I’ve been thinking about doing for myself.
Instead of me having a breakdown, I’m focusing on me having a breakthrough.
Terrell Owens
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Those are great tips:) and I too feel the same way I lose myself in taking care of others!! THIS is why I run, I pray, clear my head and it is me time. Great post my friend!!
Jennifer peterson recently posted..Legacy
Oh I wish I could run, but then again it’s probably best I don’t. I think I might run away most days. I love how God knows that about me, so He made me more a walker than a runner!
Have a lovely weekend.
Your heart is so precious! I am learning to be more intentional with my family, and in that I have been more intentional about myself. Kind of weird, but it’s working.
Lisa Grace recently posted..Lent, Day 1
Oh Lisa Grace, that is so true. I like this perspective so much. Have a lovely weekend.
Barbie, I have always had to do things if I wanted them done. Honestly, bearing the responsibility for everything was literally killing me. My desire for you is that you not have to add doing things for yourself to your huge to-do list. God longs to do things for you. He longs to give you rest and renewal through others…in unexpected ways that you can’t add to a list. Say yes to Him and you won’t even have to bake.
Melanie Wilson recently posted..The Key to Getting Past Fear of Failure
You are full of wisdom! Thank you for your encouraging words.
I love the idea to take a long walk with God. It’s just so hard to slow down and do anything for myself. But God has me on a journey learning the importance of rest. I pray He shows you the rest you crave as well.
Rosann recently posted..How to Write a Love Letter to Your Husband
Yes, my friend, how I long for deeper times of rest. Praying you have a beautiful weekend.
Barbie, I love how you wrote this. I have been struggling in the same area, I thank you so much for those amazing tips!
Ashley Ditto recently posted..To My Husband, With Love.
You’re welcome Ashley. Thanks for stopping by!
You are so wise to recognize this in yourself. You are worth taking care of, and I hope you allow yourself to enjoy it! I think your ebook will be fabulous. You are a great writer and people will benefit from your thoughts!
susan@avintagefarmwife recently posted..Weight Watcher Wednesday-Food Favs
Thank you Susan for your encouragement! Have a blessed weekend.
Great thoughts Barbie, I hope you accomplish some things for yourself. It is hard to, though, when you still have a young one around and 8 years old is still pretty young. Praying you will be able to have some alone time doing things that bring you fulfillment.
I didn’t have any ‘me’ time until this past year. 20 years of serving and serving my family and this year I found that I was able to go for a run all by myself. Usually I have my kids with me but my daughter is off in university and my son has lost some interest in running.
I found I really loved the time alone doing what I really enjoy but I found myself missing my time with the kids. Funny how that works. For years I needed time for me and now I am just starting to have it, I find I am really missing them.
Lifting you up to Father and hoping you have some enjoyable time.
Blessings.
Child of God recently posted..A Moment in the Life of Easton
Thank you my friend. You are always so encouraging!
Do I? Have trouble putting myself first? You are not alone, my friend! And I am a “CAREGIVER!” for someone else! You have a strategy here Barbie! I love your ideas! We have SO MUCH in common! Love your spirit! Be encouraged! You are really waiting on God, like we suppose to do!
Helen Tisdale recently posted..My One Word: Improvement
Oh girl! There always seems to be someone more important than us, huh? I think we just need to realize that we are important and need to take better care of ourselves. Have a lovely weekend!
I love you Barbie. <3 Why is it so difficult for us wives/Moms to take time to do things for ourselves. Yes, we should focus on breakthrough and the King of Breakthrough.
Beth @ My Destiny recently posted..Real Love
AMEN my friend! AMEN! Have a beautiful weekend.
I love taking hot baths! there is something so relaxing about having that time. I know that it is hard to get away from all the mommy demands we have everyday but maybe just start out by doing one thing for yourself just once a week. once you make that a habit you can think of it more often. I am the first to admit that i will often find other things to do instead of my self care time…but that doesnt help me be a calmer mommy. So I am learning to do it without the guilt knowing that these are good habits to get into. Good luck finding what works best for you.
I have not taken a bath in years, and I don’t have any littles running around. Oh I just think I might take a bubble bath sometime soon. Have a lovely weekend my friend!
oh yes, you have to take time for yourself… (i was super busy five years ago, and then God hit me with a ton of bricks. i got sick for seven weeks, and since then have lived with a chronic illness flared up by the sickness. i use to see it as a burden, but then came to love it as a thorn in my side to remind me to keep life in focus…. just a piece of my history that relates to this post) you do so much for others encouraging them, you must take care of yourself too… because we all love coming here to live life with you.
Lisa recently posted..love is life
Oh I get this. I am experience physical issues too now, and I know it’s because I am not being obedient in all the areas I need to be. God is wanting to wake me up! Have a beautiful weekend my friend.
Praying that He gives you rest, peace and leads you gently in the way He chooses for you
Yes, His ways are so much higher, wider, deeper than our own
HisFireFly recently posted..Food was not the answer
Thank you so much for stopping by!
wow — you work AND home school AND have a ministry ??? God bless you!
there is something about being kind to ourselves that is kind to everyone else, isn’t there? grace extended inward ends up finding its way outward. or something like that.
enjoy your bath. and your massage. i’m gonna have me a good cry.
kelli recently posted..The Visit
Thank you Kelli for stopping by! I never did get the bath, I will be getting that gift of a massage next week, and I could use a good cry!
Observing Sabbath for me is how I take care of myself. I make time to read and pray, take a walk and rest. It’s been so rich and that time has become like a tithe on the rest of my week. He is blessing it, big.
Shelly Miller recently posted..On Chocolate Cake and Asking for the Dream
Shelly, I’ve been following your posts on your Sabbath rest. It is so important. We must find time to slow down, stop, to be still, to wait on the Lord. I hope to be able to find those moments of solitude in all of my busyness.
Hi Barbie,
Nice to meet you. I’m hopping over from the Imperfect Prose’s link up. As a homeschooling mom and woman in ministry, I get this… Thanks for wondering about this aloud too.
My husband and I have been especially intentional about uninterrupted time just the two of us as critical. It’s hard to balance but vital for us.
Have a great week,
Jennifer Dougan
http://www.jenniferdougan.com
http://www.jenniferdougan.com/2013/02/praying-in-four-four-time.html
Thank you so much for visiting me today Jennifer!
wow Barbie, this is so beautiful. i LOVE that you are putting yourself first. this post would actually fit will with a meme i’ve started on Mondays called “A Dare to Love Yourself”, leading up to the release of my new book, Mom in the Mirror. Jesus told us to “love your neighbor as yourself” but how can we do that if we don’t first love ourselves? thanks so much for this! e.
emily wierenga recently posted..Imperfect Prose on Thursdays: On why I’m not giving up food or drink for Lent
Thank you for stopping by Emily. It’s so true that I cannot take care of others if I don’t first care for myself. Have a blessed weekend.
Barbie, so much of your post resonated with me. It’s so hard for me to put myself first. I tell myself it’s because I’m lazy. But then I see all the other things I do. Your post touched me so much. I’m going to try to start doing things for myself by taking baby steps. Your list is beautiful and encouraging.
happygirl recently posted..My friend had the biggest smile and the strongest hope
Loved this post so much, I had to link to it. I hope you’re ok with that. http://beinghappygirl.blogspot.com/2013/03/snow-day.html If you’re not, let me know and I’ll remove the link.
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