Faith Barista Jam

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She stood at the edge of the cliff.  With the sun beating down on her face, she could feel the cool breeze as it brushed against her checks.  The smell of evergreen filled her senses as she took a deep breath.  She stared ahead of her, eyes fixed on the other side.  Her heart filled with passion, longing and desire.  Yet she stood, at what seemed like the edge of all things.

How did she arrive at this place?  She tried to stay the course, to stay on the right path throughout her journey.  Perhaps a wrong turn.  Did she ignore the signs along the way?  Was this rocky cliff, high above level ground, to be where she met Him?  But as she stood looking out as far as her eyes could see, she did not waiver.  Yes, she had come to the edge.  But something inside her told her to wait.  To not move.  And so she stood, with her feet firmly planted.  She postured her heart to not be overcome with disappointment.  She would not allow her ear to entertain the thought that she had veered off course or taken a wrong turn.

“Meet me at the edge of the cliff”.

If she had her wings, surely she would take flight, soaring high above the mountaintops.  She would journey to the other side.  Perhaps He was there, on the other side, awaiting her arrival.  Should she turn?  Should she run to the other side to meet Him?  But the still, small voice inside of her spoke words of comfort and hope as she stood, staring out at the vast expanse before her.

“Wait”.

She could feel anxiety rising up within her.  Whispers of doubt threatened to overcome her steady heart.  It took all of her strength to push down these feelings.  What if He doesn’t come for me?  But she stood firm, obeying the voice inside her heart.

“Be still and know….”

Morning came and went and with the setting of the sun, the dark and bitter cold threatened to cause her to run and hide, to take shelter from the storm.  She was chilled to the bone.  Yet, she did not move.  Standing firm on The Rock, her feeble knees gained strength as the voice spoke words of hope to her heart.

“Do not fear….”

She closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep.  In a dream now, she was carried, with wings as an Eagle, to the other side.  To the place where He was waiting.  He stood before her, with arms open wide to receive her.  Her heart was filled with a peace and joy she had never known before.

“Wait, and you will be strengthened.”

As the sun arose, she could once again feel the warmth on her skin.  She was awake now.  It was only a dream, yet the reality of it overwhelmed her.  She took another deep breath, as hope replaced her anxious thoughts.  She exhaled every thought that threatened to move her prematurely.

And then she heard Him.  He called to her.  It was but a whisper, yet it echoed from across the valley, from the other side.  She felt as if her knees would buckle from underneath her.  She anticipated this moment as long as she could remember.  And now, it was finally here. Yet she felt paralyzed and gripped with fear.  “What if I am not what He had hoped for?  What if I fail? What if I make a mistake?”.

The still small voice spoke to her, this time with an authority she had never heard.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.  (Isaiah 41:10)

It was all her heart needed to take the leap of faith off the cliff.  Blinded by the sun she jumped.  And in that moment she felt a peace she had not known before.  For as her foot left the safety of the cliff, He came in the wind and carried her to the other side.

She is fearless now.  Safe in the shelter of His wings.

I am linking up with Bonnie today as we discuss fearless.  Will you join me there?

{ 8 comments }

Strength in Vulnerability

by Barbie on February 16, 2012

in Faith Barista Jam

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There are days when I am driven to my knees in prayer.  Moments when I am overcome by my tremendous lack and my intense desire and need for more of Him.  And as I lay there, baring my soul, He is faithful to come, showering me with His grace, mercy and forgiveness, overwhelming me by His love.  Yet I am weak.  I am vulnerable.  And I hold back, choosing to give just half of my heart to Him while trying to hold on to the other half.

Why do I sometimes want to keep pieces of my heart from Him?  As if He cannot see what already is hidden deep beneath the surface.

Shame.  Unforgiveness.  Pride.  Selfishness.  Worry.  Anxiety.

But then He asks, “Do you trust Me”?  And my heart is grieved as I realize I have not fully come to a place of trust, a place where I can be fully vulnerable before Him.

For to give myself completely to the Lord is to allow myself to be laid bare before Him.  Taking off everything that I thought I was and laying myself naked at the foot of the cross.  And once I am fully exposed, I leave myself open to being wounded, offended or hurt.  To allow Him to love me is to make myself vulnerable.  For to love is to risk.

“Do you trust me?”  Abandoning all into His capable hands.  Will I get hurt?  Possibly.  But His thoughts are higher than mine.  His ways greater.  And I am weak, but He is strong.  Yet it is my voluntary weakness, the act of saying, “Yes, Lord, I trust You”, even when I cannot see, that drives me deeper into His presence.  Even when I cannot feel Him. Even when others point fingers and cast judgment.  Even when I stare at my filthy rags in the mirror.  When I allow myself to be vulnerable, trusting Him in my weakness, He changes me from the inside out.  

He promises to give me beauty for ashes.  This giving of my heart away to the only One I can trust to take care of it is not a one time act.  It’s a moment by moment giving of myself.  A constant state of self denial.  A movement towards becoming more like Him.

For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever.  Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love.  For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.  (Lamentations 3:31-33)

Thank you Lord, that you take my weak and vulnerable heart and are making it something beautiful.

{ 10 comments }

Real Life Community

February 2, 2012

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  (Romans 15:5-6) Today over at Bonnie’s, we are discussing “real life community”. There was a time [...]

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Life’s An Adventure

January 26, 2012

Today over at Bonnie’s place, we are discussing this One Word: Adventure – an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity. Life is filled with uncertainty.  This road underneath my feet is not always smooth.  My eyesight is often blurred, and at times, it’s too dark to see in front of me.  There are [...]

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