Here I am at week three of my fast.  Just five more days left.  I truly wanted to “step up” my game this week, but instead I find myself backing off just a little bit.  I’ve been faced with some challenges this week, which has frustrated me to no end, but I keep reminding myself that the Lord looks at the heart.  I have to believe that He is pleased with me and that nothing I’ve done is in vain.

Challenge #1 – Lack of Finances.

It’s very hard to fast when you have limited financial resources to buy the food that you need, in order to keep yourself from indulging in the foods you are supposed to be fasting from.  The first week I was able to stock up on fruits and vegetables, but this week, well nada.  As the wife of an unemployed husband, sometimes I simply have to make do and eat what I have.  For a minute or two I considered a water fast for this last week, but I knew it was not wisdom from the Lord.  So what I did to adapt this week was add chicken to my diet, and a few healthy, whole grains.  It hasn’t been perfect.  I’ve messed up a couple of times, beat myself up a little bit, but climbed back on the wagon.

Challenge #2 – Sick.

I got hit with a nasty head cold shortly after my post last week, so for the most part, I felt like crude this week.  And then it got hard.  When I don’t feel good, and my head is not in the game, I make poor choices and tend to want to “feed my emotions”, thinking it will make me feel better.  So last week was a little bit of a slippery slope, but I endured.

The Good.

I have had some sweet times with the Lord this past week.  I am still struggling to get out of bed after the 2nd alarm goes off in the morning, but I’ve been staying up late, reading the Word and worshipping along with the International House of Prayer web stream. My son is attending an internship there and sits in the Prayer Room from midnight to 6AM, Kansas City time.  So, while I watch the stream hoping to catch a glimpse of my son, I pray, worship and am encouraged through the spontaneous songs that come out of the prayer room straight from the heart of God.  I have had some amazing encounters with the Lord during these times of prayer.

Another good, but hard, thing is that the Lord has begun to bring to light a few things that need to be worked on in our family.  I would consider this an answer to prayer, a little bit of the breakthrough that I’ve been hoping and praying for, so this is a good thing.

What I’ve Learned.

I wasn’t as prepared mentally, spiritually or physically as I could have been for this fast.  Fasting is not something to be taken lightly, without first coming before the Lord and asking for His will.  This is not something new to me, but I don’t feel as if I sought the Lord for His perfect will in this fast.  I had some of my own “issues” I brought before Him, and He honored those desires, but I feel I may have missed a portion of His blessing.

Overall, I am not disappointed.  Fasting is something that I get to perfect my entire life.  It takes time to build spiritual fasting muscles.  Mine aren’t quite there, but each time they get a little stronger.  There are a lot of things in me that I need to allow the Lord to weed out if I am ever going to be successful in fasting.  I want fasting to become a “lifestyle”, not something that I do religiously, or something that I do because I think I am supposed to.  I want to set aside time every week to fast and pray, to get God’s heart for not only my own needs, but the needs of those around me.

Next week, I plan to share my weight loss goals as I begin the next chapter in my journey towards health.

For the most part, I did okay this last week on the fast.  I stuck with my plan and carried through the Daniel fast for the better part of the week.  And then I got sick. Zapped of energy and strength I lost sight of my goal and slipped, just a little.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to matters of spirituality.  I’m an “all or nothing-Get it right the first time, because there may not be a second chance-Get your act together, kind of girl!”

This week I will be changing my focus just a little bit.  I decided that a “modified Daniel Fast” wasn’t really a Daniel Fast at all.  To be fair to myself, and those following along, I thought it best to share what I’m not eating, and leave it at that.

Here is what I will be abstaining from this week on my fast, starting tomorrow:

• Sugar (with the exception of fruit sugar and that found in healthy juices).
• Beef and pork.  *Chicken or fish will only be consumed after sundown, if at all.
• Processed foods.  This has not been easy, but I want to eat as whole as possible during this time.
• White flour (including rice, pastas, breads).
• Caffeine.  *Beginning this week, I will be drinking decaf coffee only.

One thing I realized last week is that I was focused so much on “what I couldn’t have” that the fasting from became more of a focus than the fasting too.  The whole purpose of a fast is to get closer to God, to be able to hear Him more clearer, and remove anything that may be a hinderance to deeper intimacy. When I become aware of what my body is lacking, I am supposed to lean into His presence and allow Him to fill me.  I am struggling in the “getting closer” part.  Although my reading of His Word has increased,  I am still not where I want to be.  My focus this week is not to focus so much on what I am lacking, but to focus on the only One who can fill my every need.

Food for thought.

After our time in the prayer room tonight, by daughter had such words of wisdom.  She mentioned how often she is aware of her hunger, and how much it makes her think about food.  And although she doesn’t stumble, just the fact that’s she’s thinking about food made her realize how much she’s not thinking about God.  How many of us have become numb or dull to His presence?  When we aren’t feeling Him, are we hungering for more of Him?  Will the hunger pains that arise during seasons of fasting cause us to run to the only One who can fill our void, or will we keep focusing on what we don’t have, yearning after momentary pleasure?

I don’t have any recipes to share with you this week.  I didn’t do a lot of healthy cooking.

How are you doing in your fasting efforts this week, for those of you who are fasting?

And to my weight loss buddies, I am cheering you on!

(photo credit)